I still remembered the look on his face, as if I’d kicked him in the soul. The pain in his eyes had been immeasurable, an ocean of grief, swallowing me, drowning me. And sometimes ... sometimes it got hard and I wanted to give in, wanted to drown.But I had Bean.She was the light at the end of the tunnel, my reason for living. I thought of her, this little girl, so innocent, so helpless, so... mine. Never, not ever, would she feel alone. I’d always be there for her, and hell, I was a strong woman; if I could fill the role of a mother, I could damn well fill the role of a father too. What was there to it? Teach your kid how to throw a ball? Talk about how shitty boys were? Teach her how to change a tire?I could do all that.I didn’t need a man.But I wanted one. I wanted Wes.He just wasn’t mine anymore.Sometimes I’d lie awake at night, staring up at the ceiling, wondering if he thought of me too, or if his busy life had led him down a path that I couldn’t ever follow. What if he’d met. I followed Dad's advice and replaced all of the department heads who had been cronies of the former mayor and the Old Guard. That led to a lot of promotions from within the various departments, and that won me a lot of loyal followers among the city workers. Thank God that I was able to find so many competent people to head the departments because I had very damned little knowledge of the details of running each one. Anyway, after a few weeks of madly scurrying around, I was able to relax and spend my time on general policy matters instead of being buried in details. From this point on, being Mayor was fun!Well, that idyllic utopia lasted for about five weeks. The largest United Methodist Church in Dothan suddenly was sent a Black pastor. It seemed to me that 90%+ of the members of the church were okay with that, but a few left the church amid all kinds of recriminations. I was not a member of the UMC, so I figured that it was none of my business what they did. HA! The whole town.
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